Page 58: of Maritime Reporter Magazine (June 2021)

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The Final Word

They were nasty and funky, again with is way too easy; better to use the con- his rolls of fat bulging over the over- voluted nomenclature of lagging. These stretched waistband between where the examples are a few of the Engineers grimy undershirt ended and his beastly attempts to confuse, befuddle, and con- briefs commenced…. found the Deck Of? cers. …recall the SHINNECOCK, being an As my watch was progressing with- old girl, had two Engineers on watch at out incident, the dial tele- phone rings all times, one at the control board in the on the bridge. “Bridge, Third Mate,” I engine room proper and another in the belch out.

boiler room at the boiler’s front to direct I then hear the voice on the other end the Fireman. Engineers have very com- of the line, “Hey, this is the 3rd in the plicated names for shipboard equipment, engine room. We are having a problem which sound extremely impressive and with the number three air handler.” intricate, requiring oodles of skill and I perk up with this warning, “Is that knowledge to operate, or God forbid, serious?” repair. Of course, any complicated ma- The old 3rd shoots back, “You better chinery, either actual or just by nature let the Captain know.” of the name, requires a great amount of Now I am fully aware of the (per- overtime to repair…just ask an Engineer. ceived) seriousness and reply, “Ok, I’ll

Sometimes I think the Engineers love let him know, call me when you get it confusing the Deck Of? cers with the use ? xed.” With that, I hung up the phone

Visit of three-syllable gobbledygook machin- and immediately dialed 7-1-1, the num- ery terms. Case in point, the Engineers ber for the Bulldog’s stateroom. Even thoroughly enjoy speaking of the intri- though I knew it was not a good idea to noti? ed me that he is having an issue cacies of the air handler or for us mere wake the sleeping bear, and he made that with number three air handler,” I ac- mortals, the fan. Then there is the puri- quite clear to me on my ? rst watch, I had curately reported. However, there was ? er, which sounds a bit more impressive to notify him of an equipment problem a distinct silence for what seemed like than a ? lter. There is the heat exchanger, or what I thought was such. an inordinate amount of time, and then when discussing a radiator. The common “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” Stone Stone blew his top, and I literally had to dimmer switch for a light goes by the howled into the phone. pull the phone receiver away from ear moniker rheostat. Fiber- glass insulation “Captain, my apologies, the 3rd just due to the din…” 58 Maritime Reporter & Engineering News • June 2021

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